tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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