Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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