Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
