My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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