Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
