Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
