All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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