Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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