u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Randomize
