I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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