Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
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