The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vagina is talking i cant
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize