That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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