After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
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I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
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Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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