he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
