If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
