I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
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i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
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Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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