I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
