I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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