Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
