I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
