Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
