If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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