What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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