based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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