need another drink. this is the easiest way
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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