Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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