When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
