dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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