You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
