Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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