So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
