So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Small penises have feelings too.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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