I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize