Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
