can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
