I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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