it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
