i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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