don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
