I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Michael Bay diarrhea
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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