My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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