she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
