I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
