i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Your penis caused this!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
