Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
