Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize