So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
