I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
