I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
