your room smells of hookers.
And success
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
