Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
