Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio

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(360): View more from Washington

I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.

Fav 13 4715 1132
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.

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(718): View more from New York

Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes

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(609): View more from New Jersey

they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.

Fav 9 3548 1386
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(646): View more from New York

i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.

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(719): View more from Colorado

With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.

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