Non-Jews are for practice
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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