I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
you traded sex for a burrito?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
