Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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