I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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