My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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