I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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