is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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