Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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